Joint Custody and Your Child

Getting a divorce may feel like you’re tearing your family apart. In most cases, both parents want the house and neither parent wants to skip out on time with their child. In many parents’ minds, joint physical custody is the fairest option since each parent will have an equal amount of time with their kids. You may also hear divorce lawyers refer to joint custody as shared custody.

Many experienced child custody attorneys in Ontario will have a contrasting opinion on your desire for joint custody. While splitting the child’s time between both parents’ new residences may seem like the fairest option, any lawyer for family matters will tell you that joint custody can be the best and worst arrangement for children.

This article is focused on explaining joint custody agreements so that family court lawyers in Ontario and their clients are on the same page. There are a few misconceptions about this kind of custody arrangement, and our attorneys will shed more light on the subject so that clients understand what to ask for in family court.

Joint Legal Custody vs Joint Physical Custody 

Joint custody can mean different things, and it can refer to physical custody and legal custody. Many divorcing parents get the definitions of these two terms crossed when fighting the custody battle.

Physical Custody

Physical custody refers to where the child spends their time. A parent with physical custody has the home where the child lives, and they will almost certainly spend more time with the child. Shared physical custody is an arrangement that allows both parents to spend a substantial, almost equal, amount of time with the child, and these kinds of arrangements vary in the way the child’s time is split. 

With joint physical custody, the child often spends one week at one parent’s house and then another week with the other parent. The time can also be split up per month or per day.

By having joint physical custody, many parents can use this as an excuse not to have a child support arrangement since they are paying for half of the child’s needs already by physically being in their presence. 

Legal Custody

Legal custody refers to a parent’s ability to make major decisions on behalf of the child. A parent with legal custody can make decisions about schooling, religious upbringing, and medical treatment. 

Joint legal custody is often awarded when both parents are capable and stable adults. It’s rare that legal custody is taken away from a parent, but it does occur in cases where the parent is abusive, mentally unstable, or suffers from substance addiction. Sole legal custody means that only one parent can decide where the child goes to school and how they should be raised. 

It should be noted that both parents always have the right to access a child’s medical or school records. 

Joint Physical Custody and Your Child’s Wellbeing

Divorcing parents often want to share the decision-making responsibilities in their new arrangement since it’s thought to closely resemble their way of life before splitting up. Being an attorney for family issues means understanding family law, but it also means understanding people and how court decisions can affect them. 

What many parents don’t realize is that joint custody can often be one of the worst situations for a child. Instead of being a legal middle ground for the family, joint physical custody often leaves the child trapped in the middle of the domestic dispute. Splitting one’s time between two different residences is often bad for a child’s psyche. 

A joint physical custody agreement is much less stable than giving the child one place to call home. It’s scientifically proven that humans’ brains don’t fully turn off when they are sleeping in a new place, so feeling out of place and uncomfortable can really hurt a child’s wellbeing. It also gets much messier if one parent’s life pulls them out of state. 

Joint physical custody requires a lot of communication and logistical coordination between both parents. Switching the child’s residence opens the door for them to forget stuff at the other parent’s house. Many lawyers will tell you that a joint custody agreement comes with frequently driving forgotten medication, school supplies, and uniforms between both houses. 

Is Joint Physical Custody Right For Me?

Even though joint physical custody insinuates that each parent will be splitting child-rearing duties 50/50, any child custody lawyer will tell you that compromise is essential. Be prepared to let your child spend an additional weekend at your ex-spouse’s house when it fits with the child’s schedule or desires. For this reason, joint physical custody is only recommended for couples that are splitting amicably. You can’t have joint physical custody if you plan on cutting off all contact with your ex, no matter how much it may pull on your heartstrings. 

Joint physical custody only works for a fraction of divorcing families. Before asking your attorney to fight for this agreement, you and your spouse should both sit down and have a hard look at your maturity and comprising skills. Ask yourself if you can really handle this kind of situation.

You should also have a discussion with your ex-spouse about the kind of arrangement that will work best for your child. If your child is a social butterfly, then they may cope well with having two homes. If your child is more introverted and enjoys quiet time, they may find being away from their personal space stressful. 

Meeting with a specialized attorney for custody agreements can help the two of you come to a conclusion of what’s best for your family. The attorneys at Zimmerman Law LLP have been helping single parents, separating couples, and blended families work out custody and visitation for years. We can take a look at your situation and help work something out. 

About Zimmerman Law LLP 

Zimmerman Law LLP is a law firm for family issues, such as marriage, divorce, custody, financial support, and adoption. These are highly personal and emotional matters, and our attorneys are trained in how to go about civil court settlements. Consulting with an expert in civil litigation can take the stress off of you and your family.

Our offices are located across greater Ontario, so accessibility shouldn’t be a problem. We also have employees that are on call to help you with new issues as they arise. We’re also offering socially distanced services due to COVID-19. To see our full list of contact options, click here.